My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
