he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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