Its about making memories worth repressing
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
