If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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