so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
