tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
