this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
