Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
