i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
only if we run a train.
done.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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