My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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