It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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