Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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