Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
