You really coming over, don't trick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
