Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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