I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
