he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
