I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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