Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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