Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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