The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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