Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize