Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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