You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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