I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
