why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
