Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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