It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
