You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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