my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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