Yo dont text me then not text me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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