Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
