I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
