the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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