Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You pole danced in your parka.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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