My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he thought i was a dude.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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