love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Mom said you looked used
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
