I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
