i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize