is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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