I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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