I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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