This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
