i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
