Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want to be your penis for a week.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
