We won't sleep together?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
