I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
