Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
