Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.