i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
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no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.