Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
