I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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