Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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