In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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