His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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