question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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