TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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