She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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