haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize