My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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