The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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