doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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