This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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