he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
