maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
