I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
