My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
