I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
