she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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